I pushed yesterday's blog post to social media (Twitter and Facebook), and was met with many kind words of friends and family. I didn't expect that. We'll see who sticks around for day two ;).
It's not you, it's me.
You see the thing is that I'm not doing this for anyone else. It's completely and selfishly for me. I'm glad that it impacts others but it's very much about being creative and doing it until it becomes a habit. Human empathy is amazing though. I hope you keep reading so that I can stay vulnerable. Overcoming that vulnerability is important for me. I appreciate your support.
Making a difference matters, and it was a relief to have my words mean something to you, especially in this fragile state. You see I eventually want this to be a full blown vlog of my life. Currently the sapling is still young and tender, not quite the quintessential climbing tree and tire swing. In the past I've attempted to climb before I was ready. Defeat stifled my soul and replanting delayed my progress.
Until now, I've met infatuation with celebrities with disgust and disdain. Then it happened. MAINGEAR created a custom PC for Casey Neistat. Casey unboxed his PC on his daily vlog. At first I was excited for, then intrigued, then smitten. His content was sincere, raw, and positive. He's inspired me to do something like this. The guy has tattoos on each arm, "work harder" and "do more". All of the cliche nonsense that comes with this admiration that has swirled around in my thoughts for the past two weeks. Casey is doing what I want to do.
"Work hard, because most people don't." is one of my sister, Marie's, favorite quotes. The thing about creativity is that it isn't unique to any one person. Isn't that defeating to your self worth? (More later on why your work and you are not the same thing). Creativity and ideas come to many people, they are gifts. The only question is who is going to will that essence into existence. Casey wills it. Ever. Single. Day.
Dream big and catch up.
This morning I woke up at 6:30 am, convinced my groggy self that I was productive and continued to lay in bed for five hours. It wasn't until two hours after I had actually showered, made the bed, missed church, and cured my hunger, did I realize that I had done nothing. This was really weird. I actually convinced myself that I was living my best because I wasn't dead tired when the alarm went off. That I thought about it, so I was there. Sound hypocritical? It was. I had hypnotized my conscious into believing that my potential was my reality.
When you're wrong, you think you're right. It feels great until you realize you're wrong. That's from a TED talk somewhere. That moment of realization feels like bad presents on Christmas. At this moment I had one choice, to immediately become creative. (The other option is so horrifying that I can't even consider it) So the kitchen became my art board.
Amber is away in Colorado and Utah this week preparing to move our possessions across the continent. Naturally that means that it's going to be Mexican food for the foreseeable future. I believe cooking is the foundation of creativity. It's the only art that fills all the senses when consumed. If I need accomplishment I go to the kitchen. Today this means meal prep for the coming week. Time to eat.